Monday, December 27, 2010

The Great SPACE Debate.

This is my second guest blogger since I started this little blog of mine!!

I heart Jenny more than wine and chocolate. AND that is a lot! We have become Twitter friends and my go to for advice when it comes to babies. We have little guys about a month apart. I was thrilled when she said she would guest blog for me because I think she is one smart mama, as well as a great business woman!
Check out the super adorable shoes she makes for babies and kids and give her some love on this post!

The Great Space Debate!
I remember thinking back after my first daughter was born about when to have the next one. I enjoyed having her all to myself so much - it was a tough call, but I guess God decided for us and BAM, a second little girl and 19 months from her older sister. Fast forward to the future and 9 years after I had my very first daughter and I am at it all over again – he just turned 1. I think I’ve seen both sides pretty well – so call me an “expert” on the subject. HA!
So the great space debate…Have them close together or far apart? I’ve got both going on here and I seriously cannot even decide which is better, so let me weigh your options for you and YOU can make the decision on what is best for you. My first two babies were 19 months apart. When my first daughter Rose was 10 months old, I was knocked up again. Which, for me, equals sheer exhaustion, pukiness, the crankies, etc. And it also meant carrying around 2 babies (one on the front and one in my arms) – until Rose FINALLY decided to walk at 16 months (and at that point I was 6 months preggo). I’ve always harbored some guilt because I felt like I jipped Rose out of being an amazing parent to her only for a couple of years, since I felt like crap and couldn't really function to my fullest {Martha Stewart} potential. On top of all that, life was just a giant cluster-eff and I fell into depression while pregnant with Ella. Which meant more doctor visits and B 12 shots weekly. I don’t remember too much of that pregnancy and that part of Rose’s life (the whoa-is-me part will end shortly, I promise). Fast forward to Ella’s birth – a great birth and a great baby. So easy going, so mellow, so go-with-the-flow – a dream really! But again, they will ask questions of their childhood and I feel like I have no recollection of it. No joke - I remember cancelling my Martha Stewart Living subscription because it would come every month, mocking me, and it destroyed me that I just didn’t have the time to do any of it. It wasn’t until Ella was able to interact with Rose and they could “play” together – at about 18 months. They were able to pre-occupy each other for longer bits of time giving me a chance to get something done, here and there.
But I will have you know that when both kiddos can talk – they will. And the demands will start, and won’t stop until they can do for themselves. And that is when I REALLY wanted to pull my hair out. Then there’s the mommy guilt from not giving the second sibling extra attention too. You just can’t split yourself into two people – so guess who gets all the guilt? *I’m raising my hand high in the sky*
Fast, Fast, Fast forward to just over 7 years after Ella was born and I’ve got two independent girls who are in school full time, who can get themselves dressed and get their own breakfast. Who require more emotional maintenance then they do physical and I’m back at square one, and with a boy no-less..changing diapers and dealing with the physical demands of boy baby-hood (those of you with boys – Get what I mean here!). Once again second guessing myself (it doesn’t stop just because you’ve had kiddos before – I think we will always do this as moms), deprived of sleep, poo on my fingers and sweet potatoes in my hair. But this time I feel blessed to have spent so much one on one time with Oscar for his first year. When I say one on one, I don’t mean Rose and Ella aren’t in the picture, it’s just different. The demands of a infant/toddler are way different than a pre-pubescent girl (Lord, help me!). That, and the girls LOVE to help – when they are around they would do anything for that little guy. It’s like he has 3 mommies. Is this route easier? Maybe, in the beginning it is instant gratification. Will it be easier when he is a full blown toddler or even at the age of 4 or 5, when he is home with me, doesn’t nap and will have ONLY me to entertain him since his waaaay older sisters are at school? Probably not! (Lord, help me again!)
So what is the right time? I guess you trade problems for problems with either option. But obviously I survived and am here to share my story with you. And in the end I am sooooo blessed to have 3 gorgeous, healthy, happy kiddos – so I must’ve done something right.
What did you decide to do? Or what are you contemplating doing? Any thoughts on my story?

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